one of those days

So I was "on vacation" for a week - I still had to work a few days, just a few hours though, nothing serious. and today I had to go back to work for a full 8 hrs. I realized how much I loved being off. most of the time I had off I spent with my friend and her brand new baby. It was amazing. Amazing to experience all of those "firsts" and just be there in the presence of a new born for hours on end. to watch him meet his family and all his "aunts" and "uncles" and experience the love that everyone has for this new little life. and then today to have to go back to my life where no one knows him and act like he didn't just enter this world, that there are other things going on that he's not a part of....okay, I have to stop, because I realize this is crazy.

I'm acting like he's mine and I just dropped him off at cay care or something. but I had to get this out of my head.
Today was definitely one of those days that I wished I was pregnant. That I wished I staying home with my LO (little one) or telling stories about my own baby.

I would not trade those first few days that I got to witness and be a helper for anything in the world. If nothing else it just reinforced the fact that I am ready for this, that I do want this, that I will have this.

I am not sad, I am determined. I am not angry, I am hopeful. I am not disheartened, I am Uplifted.

New year, new life, new hope...I have it :)
(oh, but please say a few extra prayers, he had to go into the hospital yesterday to treat his jaundice. he's already getting better and should come home tomorrow!)