I decided it's time to talk to my ob/gyn about what's going on. We've been trying for over a year and half and nothing...(I pretty much copied this from the board, but I wanted to post it here for prosperity's sake I guess.
Based on my history and my H's there is no reason at all to suspect anything is wrong. It could be bad timing, who knows. My doc said it sounds like I'm ovulating so there's no reason right now to confirm or deny that (which I'm cool with). He ordered some B/W (Chlamydia urine test, FSH, GC amplified DNA, Prolactin, TSH) Diagnosis is irregular menstrual cycle, which is for insurance purposes I assume as he said my cycles are fine. I go for a pelvic u/s next wednesday at his office to check things out down there (is this usually external?). In the meantime his office will check with insurance for SA and HSG coverage.
He was really great, I've always liked this doctor, I've been seeing him for years. When we started he meeting he said "okay I'm pretty sure I know why you're here but why don't you tell me what's going on". I said, "well I'm not pregnant yet and I'd like to be." :)
He said he would not be the least bit surprised if all my tests come back normal. it easily could be a sperm issue, about 40% of TTC problems are sperm related. so that eased some fears.
He asked what I had in mind as far as tests, if I had any preferences or opinions which I thought was pretty cool. The only thing that I was a bit surprised about was he didn't pick up or comment on the fact that my last pd was October 28th so normally I would be at the end of my LP right now. I did tell him when I'm stressed I O late, but I didn't tell him that was this cycle.
All in all it was pretty much what I anticipated. and now I wait.
So I was thinking about it and I figured I should suck it up and get the b/w done tomorrow. He said I didn't need to fasst and it didn't matter what cycle day I was on, but I'm not 100% sure that's accurate. Anyone who had that b/w done, do you remember what your docs told you?
November 30, 2009
November 16, 2009
I'm not going to let this bother me
I figured if I write this out I'll be able to put it behind me and move the Eff on.
So in college there were 5 of us that were really close. my roommates D and H and 2 other girls in our dorm K and S. K and S were a year a head of us in school, and we all stayed in touch, and then after D, H and I graduated we'd still get together like once a year. this went on for a few years and eventually just fell to the wayside. K and S lived near eachother so they'd get together a little more frequently. and we'd all talk on the phone and email eachother from time to time.
I'm a homebody and really don't like going anywhere, they started planning long weekend trips and I just never wanted to go. I had other friends I needed to see (my BFF's from HS who are like my sisters and don't live near me) or family obligations, I rarely have a free weekend. I started to have less and less in common with the girls (H and K are married so it wasn't even that so much) I just didn't feel like I was missing anything in my life after we didn't talk for months on end.
to make an even longer story short I realized that the 4 of them got together last month, there are a few pictures on facebook. Not that I would've went anyway, just kinda sucks when you realize that a group of friends has moved on without you.
I was kinda burnt by that, but I feel better now :)
So in college there were 5 of us that were really close. my roommates D and H and 2 other girls in our dorm K and S. K and S were a year a head of us in school, and we all stayed in touch, and then after D, H and I graduated we'd still get together like once a year. this went on for a few years and eventually just fell to the wayside. K and S lived near eachother so they'd get together a little more frequently. and we'd all talk on the phone and email eachother from time to time.
I'm a homebody and really don't like going anywhere, they started planning long weekend trips and I just never wanted to go. I had other friends I needed to see (my BFF's from HS who are like my sisters and don't live near me) or family obligations, I rarely have a free weekend. I started to have less and less in common with the girls (H and K are married so it wasn't even that so much) I just didn't feel like I was missing anything in my life after we didn't talk for months on end.
to make an even longer story short I realized that the 4 of them got together last month, there are a few pictures on facebook. Not that I would've went anyway, just kinda sucks when you realize that a group of friends has moved on without you.
I was kinda burnt by that, but I feel better now :)
November 12, 2009
I can say that right now I'm glad I'm not pregnant
I know everyone worries about money and when a baby is in the picture that worry tends to be exponentially greater. so right now I am so so happy I'm not pregnant.
DH I live paycheck to paycheck with a little leftover every week/month and when we build up a little in savings something inevitably happens where that money is used, either for a house project or some unknown bill. I started cracking down and tracking our payments and making a budget and we've been doing rpetty good this year. It hasn't gotten to the point where I have to say "for the next 2 days we have to use the credit cad for anything we buy cuz there is $4 i nthe checking account until pay day". We lived like that for years and I was sick of it.
when I set up said budget I used a set amount of DH's paycheck every week based on the lowest weekly pay he would probably have. and it usually works out to be in our favor cuz it's generally between $50-$80 higher every week which is awesome!
But when he's out of work for a day or 2 it can really add up and things (bill payments) need to be shifted around and the effects are usually felt through the next few weeks.
2 weeks ago he was out on friday and then the following monday and tuesday cuz his back hurt and it was radiating down into his leg. he has a rather physical job and he did go to the doctor who told him he had to stay off his feet until it was better. it could be his sciatica, or something with the nerves or a disc, it could be a lot of things. if it continued to hurt or really got bad they would start running some tests.
Well today he stayed home from work again! It really makes me sick to my stomach that we're going to be dealing with another short paycheck next week. He doesn't have any more sick time (it's sick/vacation time together and his is all used up for the year. so time off is unpaid. he works for a friend for a small company, there's not a lot of flexibility, or there was until the company started to grow and now there's an employee manual so chris doens't get any special treatment like he used to.
I don't think he's faking, I don't think he's necessarily trying to just get a day off, he knows the effect it has on our finances, but he does have a short fuse and we've been down this road before where I'm compeltely 100% upfront and honest about the state of the finances and he gets so bent out of shape about working so hard and not being able to enjoy any of the money and spending it on things other then food/bills/other necessitites and we have a million projects that have been started and are in varying degrees of being finished and I think every one of them required more money to finish them. so he sits and stews over that. and in the past it's gotten bad enough that he was so disgusted about money and his job and not making enough that he quit (I know, totally the opposite of what we needed at the time). He's matured since then and I know he wouldn't put us in that kind of bind again, but I also know that he gets in that frame of mind he'll start to despise his job (which he genereally likes) and start to bring that disgust home and he'll be miserable and I can't handle him when he's like that.
I know that we're lucky to have jobs and we make decent money but neither of us have had raises in over 3 years now and that little extra bump in the paycheck every year really helped carry us over the humps and we've been stalled out for so long the little increases in the bills over that time are catching up more and more and I'm getting scared.
I don't want to put off TTC because we're at the point now where I'm going to have to start testing. I have decent coverage (80% covered for diagnostics) and a $15 office copay, so we can afford to start the testing, but if we have to do IUI or IVF, there's no way that's happening for a long time.
This is just one of those vents that I needed to put out there. I know we're not the only ones in this position and I know we'll get things back to "right" again, but right now I just feel like crying. I don't want Chris to feel bad and go to work and hurt himself worse where he's out for weeks at a time and I'm not mad at him for being hurt. I'm just really frustrated that this is happening. And now before the holidays, I haven't been able to splurge on gifts in like 6 years, that's hard for me, I love buying gifts. I've substituded by making gifts which I love to do, but it's not always easy and my time is worth something too. it's just so damn frustrating. I just want us to be able to get off dead center.
I guess this is long enough I could go on and on, but getting this much has helped a little. I may still have to go have that secret cry though :(
DH I live paycheck to paycheck with a little leftover every week/month and when we build up a little in savings something inevitably happens where that money is used, either for a house project or some unknown bill. I started cracking down and tracking our payments and making a budget and we've been doing rpetty good this year. It hasn't gotten to the point where I have to say "for the next 2 days we have to use the credit cad for anything we buy cuz there is $4 i nthe checking account until pay day". We lived like that for years and I was sick of it.
when I set up said budget I used a set amount of DH's paycheck every week based on the lowest weekly pay he would probably have. and it usually works out to be in our favor cuz it's generally between $50-$80 higher every week which is awesome!
But when he's out of work for a day or 2 it can really add up and things (bill payments) need to be shifted around and the effects are usually felt through the next few weeks.
2 weeks ago he was out on friday and then the following monday and tuesday cuz his back hurt and it was radiating down into his leg. he has a rather physical job and he did go to the doctor who told him he had to stay off his feet until it was better. it could be his sciatica, or something with the nerves or a disc, it could be a lot of things. if it continued to hurt or really got bad they would start running some tests.
Well today he stayed home from work again! It really makes me sick to my stomach that we're going to be dealing with another short paycheck next week. He doesn't have any more sick time (it's sick/vacation time together and his is all used up for the year. so time off is unpaid. he works for a friend for a small company, there's not a lot of flexibility, or there was until the company started to grow and now there's an employee manual so chris doens't get any special treatment like he used to.
I don't think he's faking, I don't think he's necessarily trying to just get a day off, he knows the effect it has on our finances, but he does have a short fuse and we've been down this road before where I'm compeltely 100% upfront and honest about the state of the finances and he gets so bent out of shape about working so hard and not being able to enjoy any of the money and spending it on things other then food/bills/other necessitites and we have a million projects that have been started and are in varying degrees of being finished and I think every one of them required more money to finish them. so he sits and stews over that. and in the past it's gotten bad enough that he was so disgusted about money and his job and not making enough that he quit (I know, totally the opposite of what we needed at the time). He's matured since then and I know he wouldn't put us in that kind of bind again, but I also know that he gets in that frame of mind he'll start to despise his job (which he genereally likes) and start to bring that disgust home and he'll be miserable and I can't handle him when he's like that.
I know that we're lucky to have jobs and we make decent money but neither of us have had raises in over 3 years now and that little extra bump in the paycheck every year really helped carry us over the humps and we've been stalled out for so long the little increases in the bills over that time are catching up more and more and I'm getting scared.
I don't want to put off TTC because we're at the point now where I'm going to have to start testing. I have decent coverage (80% covered for diagnostics) and a $15 office copay, so we can afford to start the testing, but if we have to do IUI or IVF, there's no way that's happening for a long time.
This is just one of those vents that I needed to put out there. I know we're not the only ones in this position and I know we'll get things back to "right" again, but right now I just feel like crying. I don't want Chris to feel bad and go to work and hurt himself worse where he's out for weeks at a time and I'm not mad at him for being hurt. I'm just really frustrated that this is happening. And now before the holidays, I haven't been able to splurge on gifts in like 6 years, that's hard for me, I love buying gifts. I've substituded by making gifts which I love to do, but it's not always easy and my time is worth something too. it's just so damn frustrating. I just want us to be able to get off dead center.
I guess this is long enough I could go on and on, but getting this much has helped a little. I may still have to go have that secret cry though :(
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