what a freaking rollercoaster of emotions.
2 baby girls were born yesterday and I'm so freaking happy I could explode! and the next minute I'm overcome with the feeling that there's a deep hole in my heart and if I let myself go I ust might fall in.
I am really really good about handling the news when someone tells me they're pregant. I don't even feel like I'm putting on a brave face because I know it's a miracle that everything worked out and there's a little mass of cells growing and forming a little baby.
Its when that baby gets here that I kinda feel a little crater forming in my heart and a lump in my throat. I'm so over-joyed that my friend and my cousin each have a new perfect little person in their life, that everyone is happy and healthy and things are just perfect for them. I can't wait to meet the little girls and love on them and watch them grow up and be the amazing ladies I'm sure they will be.
but at the same time reality is smacking me in the face that I'm not pg yet.
I know I will be, I know we're taking the neccessary steps to get to that point. and it will happen.
I never was a very patient person. .sigh.
I did the b/w today, so that's the 2nd step on this fun little path we're on. my arm hurts a bit, but all in all the nurse did a good job so I can't complain too much. and I never peed in a cup in a doctor's office before, I filled that bad boy up! haha!
and speaking of handling "I'm pregnant" news - one of my BFF's found out last week that her cousin and one of her BFF's are both pregnant! she was nervous to tell me (I know both girls) but I truly do love hearing that someone got pregnant. I really honestly do. Especially her BFF - she had to go through IVF (sperm issues) and it took on the first shot. She is the sweetest girl and I could NOT be happier for her!
I can't help it if I feel slightly more happy for those couples who are pregnant after fertility treatments or at least trying for a fair amount of time. ;)
And - if things really do happen in 3's, perhaps I'll be the 3rd piece of good news sometime soon :)
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